Writing Journal

Rain and Sunshine*
There's a storm cloud up above me
And it's darkening my halo.**
I have to wait for the rain to stop
Before I see my rainbow.

Many times I failed to hurt
Because I failed to see
The bad parts inside of you
And the good inside of me.

You didn't want to hurt me;
I never thought you would.
But now I see that I was wrong
To never think you could.

There's a storm cloud up above me
And it's darkening my halo.
I have to wait for the rain to stop
Before I see my rainbow.

I'm sitting here, not crying
Over how you treated me.
It now becomes my fervent hope
That someday you will see

The storm cloud up above me
That is darkening my halo.
I cannot wait for the rain to stop
So you can see my rainbow.

The next time that you see me,
I won't feel so alone.
Some other man may find me
And earn my pot of gold.

But even if he does not come,
The storm was not in vain.
Think of all the gardens grown
Every time it's rained.

Now there's no more clouds above me,
So it's clear to see my halo.
And now that the rain has stopped,
I finally found my rainbow.


*If you know me, you know I'm terrible with titles. And will always ask, if not beg, for suggestions and/or ideas.
**I promise this was not inspired by Porcupine Tree's "Halo." I had completely forgotten about any knowledge I may or may not have had about that song until Saturday, March 26, and I wrote the poem before that.
Although...hearing it over the weekend did cause me to come back to this, which led to my changing a line I didn't really like.




Now for the rest of the story... A blogger whose blog I stalk, er, read, gave me some advice on a situation. Advice it took me a while to follow. The premise of this poem was the premise of her messages to me. Writing it was very theraputic to me in terms of dealing with some of the choices I had made and actions that had been taken. I had hoped that it would answer one of the questions I still had for myself about the situation, but it didn't. Maybe the next one will.

Reading, Writing Journal

So, it's been a while....
I'm reading more than I used to. Although I did take a good break this winter, after I finished "Quirky, Yes. Hopeless, No," a book about dealing with kids who have Aspberger's and "Winter Blues," a book about understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder. Now, I'm almost finished with "Little Women," and "Goodbye Ed, Hello Me," a book about recovering from an eating disorder. Sometimes I read books about things I don't have and situations I'm not in, because I might come across someone who is there, and I'd like to have a glimpse of understanding.

I've been dabbling in writing. Mostly about dating. Like "The Economics of Dating" and "How to Get Over a Guy in 10 Days." But neither of those are in final enough stages to share with hoards of public, and I'm rather choosy about subjecting my prosaic ideas to scores of readers. My poetry, however...I'm better at exposing that. Mostly because I need help with titles. (If I were more serious of a writer, I'd look for workshops or something.)

Little Lamb
One little black sheep,
Lost in the dark,
Too scared to cry out for help.
Doesn't think anyone would
Hear him, anyway.

Searching for him with
Flood lights and heliocopters
Only creates more shadows and noise,
Driving him deeper into darkness.

Once the search party gives up,
One little child goes out,
Armed with a flashlight,
Some bread, and a blanket.

After much lonely searching,
The black sheep is brought home.
And the child sneaks away,
In search of another lost sheep.